when everything feels so heavy

Sometimes, no matter how hard we try or how strong our hope is, we just can't make everything happen. It makes me wonder — are we not worthy to achieving those dreams? Or God just doesn't allow us to?

I think life is unfair sometimes. I think life can be hard to get through. And I think living with so many dreams but no can't to reach them feels so unfair.

In the past, we all probably had big dreams for where we are now. In the present, we likely have dreams for the future. And in the future — a time that hasn't even arrived yet — we're bound to have hopes too.

Ironic, isn't it? Sometimes, I wonder why we should have dreams if we can't achieve them? Why we should keep being strong if it doesn't even change anything? Why we should fight for something if it ends up nothing?

Long story short, I read a book called “Polaris Musim Dingin”. One of the characters kept saying that we have to keep trying. To fight for one more day. To live for one more day. We need to have dreams, think about the future, and plan our next steps for when those dreams finally come true.

I was struck. The character was so motivating, always saying things that brought comfort — exactly what I really need to hear when I'm feeling down or even when we're happy. I learned a lot from that character.

Of course, it's hard to stay positive when you faced a lot of failure. We go through so many paths on the journey to achieving something. But maybe those challenges will strengthen us for what's to come and make us better prepared.

I'm not always able to think that positively yet tho. Because, honestly, it's really tough to stay strong when your dreams — even your biggest ones — didn't come true. All I end up doing is wallowing in sadness and overthinking all the worst possibilities.

But after reading that book, I believe I can do it — think positively and keep fighting for just one more day. Even if it's hard, even if the road is rough, I'll find my way little by little. And of course, soon, I will achieve it. I will keep believing that I can reach all my dreams, from the smallest ones to the biggest ones. I will achieve them.